Kate Spade New York enlisted our help to reach their two distinct audiences via email. Fashion Novices are women in their mid-20s to early-30s with full-time jobs (this is who I currently am). Casual Functionalists are women in their mid-30s to early-40s and full-time homemakers (this is who I want to be, sans spouse or children). There’s more to these audiences than this gross oversimplification, but I’ll assume you don’t care. Instead, let’s turn this into a drinking game, shall we? As you read, try to guess which group each email belongs. If you guess incorrectly, take a shot of tequila — or wheatgrass, depending on whether you identify more as a Fashion Novice or Casual Functionalist.